


pretty boy, you've got me blinded

by wegotjamsdude



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Dancer!Renjun, M/M, Pining, SCREAM AT ME RENJUN STANS, Sad, jeno is a lil bit emo sometimes, photographer!jeno, renjun is an angel HES PERFECT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-02 06:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14538405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wegotjamsdude/pseuds/wegotjamsdude
Summary: Huang Renjun was buzzing with so much energy like he always did. A ball of fuzzing energy. Always bright and cheery. Always smiling. Always alive and moving. Always giving life. Like the sun. Or maybe he might even rival the sun. Renjun radiates yellows and oranges and pinks in the most beautiful way possible. Renjun was his sun, and Jeno's blinded by him.





	pretty boy, you've got me blinded

**Author's Note:**

> im crazy for noren fight me

a/n: i listened to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jcmr2rmrthg&list=PL9etrIA8mF2WL7IyB0Ci74Tjdldw-7K7f) playlist on repeat so you should listen to it while reading! (theyre my favorite songs;w;)

* * *

 

"So," Mark starts, flipping his textbook to another page. He was peeking through his book, staring at Jeno, "He told you to work on capturing portraits." Jeno nods. Mark continues, "And that you should have a muse or some sort."

"Yes." Jeno replied sternly. He didn't exactly like the idea of taking photos of people. He found it more comfortable to capture objects and landscapes. Although he also liked taking pictures of his friends, but that was different. His professor, Mr. Lim, handed them an assignment that would go on until the end of the semester, which was two weeks from now. They had to pass a portfolio of their photographs, and one time when said professor went on an impromptu check on how they were doing two days the assignment was given, he had commented on Jeno's photographs of  _things_ like his backpack in the middle of the school field and that photo he took of his morning breakfast at a fancy cafe (it looked instagram-able, and his professor deemed it useless). He had said something like, "You need to capture people, Lee." Basically, he forgot that this subject was a specialization on portraits. 

Jeno showed Mr. Lim his photographs of Jaemin and Mark smiling and he could hear their laughs just by looking at it. He showed his photos of people on the streets doing their own thing. But his professor seemed disappointed.

"You see," Mr. Lim had said when he called Jeno into his office, "it's not always like that, Jeno. Capturing portraits isn't just capturing people. You also have to capture their emotions."

Jeno's head is going to burst at this point. Mr. Lim recommended that he find his muse, or a model in Jeno's terms. He doesn't know what to consider at this point, so he just goes on in following Mr. Lim's recommendation and find his 'muse'. That's why he's in front of Mark, in the middle of the library, begging him to be his model.

Mark is great. He would look great on camera. 

He must've said that out loud because the said guy puts his book down, sighing, "I don't think you understand the concept of taking pictures of people, Jeno. Mr. Lim wants you to kind of like, empathize with people you capture. As much as it disappoints me, if you showed him pictures of me and deemed it ineffective, then maybe I can't be your muse or something. Jaemin, too." 

Jeno doesn't argue. He actually thought about that too, but decided on pushing his own wrong ideas. Maybe he did need someone else that shares the same emotions he has. Maybe Mark and Jaemin weren't the people that's  meant to be seen through his camera. Jeno never imagined this to be this hard, but he was really up for a challenge.

Oh well, do or die. He wants to graduate already and he's not even halfway there yet.

* * *

 

Lee Jeno likes--loves--pretty things. Pretty things like white roses and butterflies, pastel colors and rainbows, shining eyes and radiant smiles. He loves looking at and capturing pretty things. Pretty things just like the _pretty boy_ lining up in the counter. His hair was black and his face was small. Even from feet away, Jeno could feel the radiance the boy has. The brown furnish of the cafe made the boy shine bright yellow. Suddenly, Jeno's black coffee doesn't taste bitter at all.

It was a Wednesday afternoon. Jeno is sulking because he still haven't started on his portfolio. Although he had asked his flatmate to take pictures to, it wasn't really going well. Donghyuck was sitting across him, talking about his favorite show that he hasn't watched for a week straight since he was too cooped up with university stuff. He doesn't notice Jeno's distracted posture.

Pretty Boy was laughing this time. Surprisingly he hadn't come alone--

"Is that Chenle?"

"Is it?" his flatmate turns his shoulder to follow Jeno's line of sight. Indeed, the blonde boy was smiling as he had a conversation with Pretty Boy. "Oh, he's with his older brother."

Jeno thinks that the vinyl playing in his mind scratched as he heard DOnghyuck. Pretty Boy is Chenle's older brother? How come he didn't know? He turns to Donghyuck, "Chenle has a brother?"

Donghyuck shifted a little to sit properly, facing the dazed Jeno, "You didn't know? They're actually half-brothers. He's a contemporary dance major."

A dancer huh? The thought picked on Jeno's interest. Pretty Boy is a dancer? That made him even prettier.

He hears Donghyuck gasp, so Jeno thinks he must have been obvious that he took a liking to the boy without even meeting him, "You're totally into him!"

Jeno was quick to shush him. Really, Donghyuck talks pretty loud and some people had already looked at them, clearly disrupted from what they were doing initially, "I don't even know him, Hyuck! He's just--he looks pretty."

"Hyung-deul!"

It was a screeching voice and they both know to whom it belongs to. Jeno sighs as he sees Hyuck wiggle his eyebrows teasingly. Jeno knows Chenle as Donghyuck's younger friend since they had a class together. They also hung out a lot since Jisung is basically connected to the hip with the boy. They greet each other, though. Nothing other than that.

So Chenle and his pretty brother stood by their table and Jeno looked up to smile at him. Pretty Boy stood a little behind Chenle. He seems a little shy unlike his outgoing brother. Chenle steps back to reveal his brother.

Jeno stops breathing for a while. He looked prettier up close. His lips were thin as he smiled, eyes curling up a little. He looked so small and precious Jeno just wants to hug him. Cute. Too cute. Dangerous. He's basically  _glowing_. 

"This is Renjun-hyung."

Oh god, even his name sounded so pretty.

"Hi."

Even his voice sounds so pretty. Pretty. Pretty.

"I'm Donghyuck, and he's Jeno. Nice to meet you!" Jeno hears Donghyuck, beaming with the introductions. Jeno froze up momentarily before smiling at Pretty Boy--Renjun--in return. He was really, really beautiful that Jeno's mouth go dry. He bets he would look prettier when he dances. 

They both sit on their booth after that, with Renjun sitting just across Jeno. Renjun must have noticed the camera beside Jeno's coffee as he gasped in adoration. Jeno squeals internally, he thinks it's the cutest thing he had ever seen today, "You take pictures?" It was a little muffled and soft as Donghyuck was talking to Chenle beside them.

Jeno rubs his neck, "Yeah. I'm actually studying photography." The way Renjun grins at that made Jeno's heart leap from his ribs. He had nothing else to think about except how pretty, how beautiful, Renjun was in front of him. He was smiling oh-so-brightly and the sunlight from the glass window beside them definitely made him glow. He looked so ethereal that Renjun might just redefine beauty himself. He was radiating, and Jeno was caught off guard. He can't believe he's whipped after seeing the boy for the first time.

"That's nice." 

They just smile to each other after that, Jeno tried tuning in to Donghyuck and Chenle's conversation but he just couldn't take off his eyes from the other boy. Renjun seemed to be the same, making Jeno blush at the slightest. Jeno doesn't know where it comes from, but he pulls his black hair gently before setting his hands on his camera. It was turned on, so he distracts himself with scrolling through his shots for today. He took a couple of pictures of Donghyuck on the way here, trying it out if Mr. Lim would finally recognize his works. He definitely has to show them these. 

Renjun was joining in to Chenle and Donghyuck's discussion, leaving Jeno as the quiet one in their group. They were laughing at something Donghyuck said, and Renjun's laugh rang in Jeno's ear. So he smiles unconsciously as he kept on scrolling mindlessly.  _Even his laugh is pretty._

It's unusual for Jeno to be bold, but there's something about Renjun that leaves him breathless despite knowing the boy for less than an hour. They're talking about a video game and Renjun is still laughing. Jeno grabs the moment to take a quick shot of the boy.

He checks it out and Jeno loses his breath again.

He raises his camera and quickly snaps a photo of a laughing Renjun. He was looking at Donghyuck, eyes crescent as his lips stretched into a beautiful smile displaying his perfect teeth. His cheeks glowed and anyone can see how his eyes seemed to be filled with sincere emotions.  _Beautiful._ Breath-taking even.

"Did you just-" Renjun turns to Jeno, "you have to delete that. I look awful!"

"No," Jeno chuckles because he is too cute, really. So, so sweet that Jeno might die with diabetes, "it's actually pretty. You're pretty."

Renjun flushes red at that, so Jeno laughs again. But clears his throat when two of their other friends looked at the both of them, quite teasingly. Donghyuck was literally wiggling his eyebrows up and down at him. Jeno is sure to send a glare at him.

* * *

Jeno knocks thrice on Mr. Lim's office. He hears a small 'come in' behind the door, so he turns the knob, setting foot on said office. 

"Lee," his professor says, "sit. You have new pictures for today?"

"I just wanted some kind of evaluation. So," Jeno sits comfortably on the chair in front the document-filled table, tuning in his camera to said professor. Jeno has been a little frustrated, he had ripped the photos on his portfolio. He didn't know anything about the aesthetics of taking portraits and he swears he's gonna kill someone before he finishes up this project. Damn, might as well kill himself.

It was silent, Jeno could only hear the small beeping sound from his camera as Mr. Lim scrolls through his shots. He was getting anxious, a little hope flickering in his chest. He was more confident in taking pictures of Donghyuck, the guy was handsome and he radiates in the shots he took.  _Please, please_ -

"This is great, Jeno."

Jeno visibly brightens up at the comment.

"Maybe you can edit it a little, but," Jeno breathes in nervously,  _but what?!_ , he mumbles out a small incoherent prayer to all the gods out there to just please let him start on this portfolio. He had other projects to do, for the love of fucking gods of photography, "you only took one."

What? He was sure he had took many shots of Donghyuck, how come he only saw one of them? Jeno tells Mr. Lim that and the older man chuckles. Jeno suddenly gets flustered, embarrassed, "I meant this shot, Jeno."

Jeno's not supposed to be surprised, but when Mr. Lim shows him his shot of a certain smiling pretty boy all radiant and glowing, he takes in a sharp breath just like how he did when he first saw Renjun the other day.

"It looks and feels so natural."

Maybe because it is. Renjun had laughed when he happily took that photo. 

"Lee," Mr. Lim continues, so Jeno turns to him to listen, "Portraits are so simple, that's why it's so complicated." Jeno scrunches up his nose in confusion. The older male chuckled, "I've said this a lot during our sessions. The goal in capturing portraits is finding something in an image that people might have missed in seeing."

Despite not fully understanding what it meant, Jeno nods and takes his camera being offered back to him. He stands up to leave saying, "Can I come back for more questions next time? I'll take more pictures." Mr. Lim nods and Jeno went out into the quiet hall of the Visual Arts department.

His professor told him his shot of Renjun was  _great_. 

Jeno smiles at the thought. Of course he would, Renjun was a fucking angel sent from above. He was beautiful and fit for everything.

Looks like he got himself a muse.

* * *

 

He really went on extra measures to find Renjun, asked Chenle for his brother's number, waited for at least an hour until Renjun finishes his practice hour (he had no afternoon classes that day, thankfully), and no, he didn't  _ask_ Renjun to model for him. He figured that Renjun wouldn't agree to that, and he was aiming for  _natural_ since Mr. Lim complimented him for that.

When Renjun agreed on hanging out, Jeno basically starts to take photos of him. Renjun doesn't laugh though, he gets flustered quickly and hides his face away from Jeno's camera. Jeno feels the boy being a little awkward for that so he stops. He must be dumb, of course Renjun would shy away. He figures that they could go get ice cream. So they do, and fro once, Jeno lets his camera hang around his neck. He settles on talking to Renjun and getting to know him. He was interested since day one, anyway.

So they're currently sitting on one of the tables outside an ice cream parlor. Renjun talked about different things a lot, jumping from one topic to another. Jeno thinks it's adorable that he always had something to talk about. He never got bored of listening to his soft voice.

Jeno learns that Renjun moved in Korea a year earlier than Chenle. He had started dancing when he was five, that he learned it from their mother. He lives at the dorms with Chenle along with two other Chinese students named Sicheng and Kun as flatmates in their university. He likes the color green because seeing the color made Renjun feel free and light-weighed. He prefers donuts than cakes. But the cutest above all, is his big, unbeatable obsession for the cartoon character Moomin. He even boasted his Moomin phone case and his frowning Moomin keychain on his bag and Jeno coos and laughs at him because it's just so, so cute he wants to keep Renjun in his pockets and hug him to sleep.

So he takes a few photos of him just talking. He takes photos of Renjun under the dim lights of the ice cream parlor, but his smiles seem to brighten up everything. Renjun makes everything look like he has bokeh lights everywhere he goes. He takes photos of Renjun scooping on his ice cream, when he leaves the plastic spoon hanging on his lips.

"So, enough about me," Renjun says. They had both finished their cups of ice cream, Jeno still took random shots of the boy in front of him. Renjun brings up his palm to cover the lenses of Jeno's camera, giggling, "Stop that and tell me what's a Lee Jeno."

Jeno chuckles and does what he's told. He puts his camera down, "Ask me and I'll answer."

Renjun asks questions and Jeno answers them truthfully. He tells Renjun why he likes photography ("I don't know, it just kinda happen and I can't let go of my camera anymore"). He tells Renjun when his birthday is, and what he got during his recent ones. He tells him his favorites, that he likes cats even though he's allergic to them. He tells Renjun about his friends Mark and Jaemin and Donghyuck, how Chenle is around their friend group. He also finds out that Renjun is quite close to Jisung and he knew Mark. Jeno gushes silently at how the world seemed so small with these kind of events.

In the end, Jeno walked Renjun to his dorm (it was five minutes away from his) after two hours. It had gotten chilly so they decided to head back and rest. Of course he took a few shots of Renjun's back view on their way. Renjun had thanked him for a good time and Jeno can't stop smiling, he realized that he's never smiled this much for a long time. All thanks to a certain pretty boy.

* * *

It goes on for days straight. Renjun and Jeno text each other on a daily basis, get meals together when they can, or hang out with their friends. In all of those moments, Jeno also has them on his camera. He never misses the chance to photograph Renjun and other things, makes sure Renjun smiles for him and his camera.

Yeah, he's admittedly, definitely gone whipped for the pretty boy Huang Renjun. It has just been a few days but Lee Jeno is just so,so in love. And he's falling even more.

He loves how Renjun stands from feet away waiting for Jeno to catch up to him, loves how he pouts unconsciously when he's curious, loves how Renjun's nose scrunch up when he learns about something he doesn't like or when he laughs at Jeno's lame jokes. Jeno loves the boy's pretty eyelashes when they flutter over his cheeks as he blinks slowly, loves how Renjun talks about dance like a jewel, and he loves how his cheeks would burn in fake annoyance when Jeno teased him. He loved how different they are in size, loved their similar taste in some things. Jeno loved how Renjun presses his lips together when his coffee was to bitter because he liked it sweet, loved how Renjun turns red when he ruffles his hair in adoration. In such short period of time Jeno learned how beautiful Renjun is, inside and out. He learned how to love the boy in the best ways possible.

Jeno has all of that in the device he always carried around, some are printed and kept in the walls of his room, some are printed and pasted on his 12" by 16" photo album called his portfolio. 

He's now at the cold library of their school, his cup of coffee cold and forgotten beside his laptop. Jeno had woke up early, washed up, and went to his spot right now to start editing the next set of Renjun's photos he was going to add in his portfolio. He hadn't realized that he took more than forty photos of the boy during the three hours they were hanging out yesterday. It was always a little tricky at editing, the adjustments would sometimes ruin the photo no matter how minimal he puts. It was already perfect itself, or maybe it was just Renjun who's perfect. It's frustrating to pick a few out of the many as well. Sometimes he wants to include a certain photo in, but technically speaking, it wouldn't be the best one.

So basically, he's been glued to his spot for hours now that it was noontime (Jeno can tell just by looking outside, the sun was harsher than this morning). Staring straight into his laptop screen had gotten to take a toll on him so he saves his last work--the 45th photo--shuts the device and decides to get an actual coffee, unlike the one he had right now. He needed a cup of actual hot and bitter caffeine. 

Jeno slings his laptop bag on his shoulder and grabs the half empty cup of cold coffee as he went out. Food and drinks weren't exactly allowed inside their library, but Jeno needed a cool place and coffee at the same time to keep his cramming body to work, and to console his wrecked self since the portfolio's deadline was two days away.

 

He knows he said that he needed  _actual coffee_ but he got too lazy the moment a vending machine went in sight. Jeno could handle a can of iced coffee, as long as its caffeine. 

Jeno was in the middle of slotting his coin into the machine when his phone started ringing. He stops, sighing, and answers the damn call, whoever it was.

"Hey."

Jeno suddenly feels lightheaded at the soft sound of Renjun's voice, "Hey. Have you eaten?" It was nearing 12 now, Renjun must be taking his lunch break.

"No," Renjun says, "I'm not really hungry. Come over here, I'm bored."

Jeno chuckles and began to walk, completely forgetting his need for a drink. The things he does foe love. "Where are you, then?"

"Studio A4. I was practicing."

He didn't need to be told once. It was the first time that Renjun actually let him go to the studio while he's practicing. He never really saw Renjun dance, so Jeno hopes that he could today. He would look ethereal. 

Renjun had ended the call first after saying goodbye. Jeno walks outside his department building to Renjun's, which was a school field away. He blows a raspberry at the sight of the green field scorching with heat that he needed to cross. He should've worn a light shirt today, instead of the button-up he randomly picked out of his closet.

It wasn't a long walk and Jeno's pushing the glass door of the studio open. Renjun was sprawled out on the floor in the middle, black hair completely out of his face as he stared straight into the ceiling of the dimmed studio. He looked pretty like that. Jeno turns on his camera. He adjusts the lenses of his camera then takes the shot.

Renjun groggily sits up to face Jeno who has hanging by the door, "You always take pictures of me randomly."

Jeno closes the door behind him and goes to sit beside Renjun. He raises his camera at him again, this time letting Renjun pose a little. He was holding up a V-sign with his fingers, smiling with his teeth showing. Jeno's heart goes soft. "It's for a project, actually," he admits. There's nothing Renjun could do, anyway, "It was a specialization on portraits kind of class, and you," Jeno smiles at Renjun who had his head tipped to the side a little, "automatically became my muse."

"A muse, huh," Renjun chuckles. Jeno takes another shot again, making Renjun turn to him, "Was that for the project as well?"

"Nope," Jeno pops the 'p', "that's for me to keep."

Renjun only smiles. It was quiet for a while as they kept on staring at each other. It became quite a habit now, Jeno notices. They would mindlessly stare at each other. It flustered Jeno at first but seeing Renjun comfortable with it and laughing it off, he just sort of stared back until Renjun laughs to break the contact.

Eventually, Renjun giggles and stands up. Jeno noticed that he's already changed into his regular cuffed track pants, wearing his low-cut socks and sneakers. His white shirt also didn't cling to his small frame with sweat. he must have changed before Jeno made his way here, "You wanna grab lunch together?"

Jeno would definitely say yes to that, but he also wanted more time to sit with Renjun so he shakes his head in disapproval, fiddling with the shutter of his camera, "I'm not really hungry."

"Me too, actually."

They laugh.

"I want to see you dance, Injunnie." Jeno blurts out before he knew it. It came off as a little embarrassing, but he doesn't take it back. He really did want to see him dance, although he never wanted to say it like that. Jeno blushes from embarrassment and stutters, "I-I mean, I've never really saw you d-dance so..."

He hears Renjun giggle and toes his sneakers off, "Okay." Jeno wasn't really expecting that kind of answer. He thought Renjun would tell him to watch his performance at the upcoming show at their school next week just like how he usually does. But then, he's not complaining.

Jeno puts his things on the floor beside him after scooting away from the middle a little as Renjun plugs his phone into the speakers, scrolling through his songs for a while. He doesn't want to take pictures of Renjun right now, because this will be the first time he'll see Renjun dance. He wants to focus on him and only him. He's fucking whipped and he doesn't even care.

A soft intro starts to bounce off the walls of the room. Jeno sees Renjun shaking his body-- _cute_ \--as if to warm up a little.

The music gets louder and Renjun starts to move. Smooth and graceful moves of his limbs fills Jeno's sight and he's too caught into him. Every turn and jump was so clean. Renjun danced like he was in the air, feet off the ground. Feather-like as he moved and captured every emotion through dance. He would constantly smile or close his eyes in complete passion and Jeno has never seen someone beautiful dance  _oh so_ beautifully like this. Jeno's heart go crazy everytime Renjun moved, lips slightly apart in utter admiration.

Even when the music starts to drop beats and bass Renjun moved so powerfully and at the same time with grace. Jaemin didn't dance like this, nor did Jisung. Renjun was the only one who could do this. Renjun was the only one who made Jeno's insides panic, making his heart race as if it was caged and desperate to get out.

Huang Renjun was buzzing with so much energy like he always did. A ball of fuzzing energy. Always bright and cheery. Always smiling. Always alive and moving. Always giving life. Like the sun. Or maybe he might even rival the sun. Renjun radiates yellows and oranges and pinks in the most beautiful way possible. Renjun was his sun, and Jeno's blinded by him.

With a final turn and a final beat of music, Renjun lands on his two feet. Jeno almost immediately stands up in complete fondness. His head was buzzing at how Renjun was beautiful like this. He always glowed. Oh  _god_ , he was so in love and he was still falling deeper.

"You are amazing." Jeno breathes out.

Renjun smiles at him through the mirror before turning to fully face Jeno, "That means a lot. Thank you." He bows like how the ancient Medieval performers did as the crowd showered them with roses.

Jeno just smiles, still not getting over on how Renjun was just so, so fucking beautiful that it actually hurts his heart.

"Come on," Renjun grabs his hand. Jeno feels the jolt at the contact, "I'll teach you."

"Injun, I don't--"

"Everyone can dance, Jeno." His voice was so sweet that Jeno burns when he says his name. He always did when Renjun called his name. The good kind of burn.

Jeno doesn't even try to let go as Renjun kept their hands in his as he scrolls through his music list, "Maybe. But I don't know contemporary, Renjun."

"Who said about contemporary?"

A slow music starts to play, the sound of piano keys melting into Jeno's ears. Renjun drags him to the center of the studio again, then smiles up to Jeno. The latter's heart fuzzed and melted for the nth time that hour. He felt Renjun put his arms on his shoulders before loosely wrapping his own around Jeno's small waist. The smaller leans in to keep their body close and Jeno feels the familiar burn again everywhere in his body. Renjun puts his temple against Jeno's broad shoulder and Jeno has never been this warm before.

Renjun's fluffy hair tickled the side of his face which made Jeno pull the smaller even closer to his body, slowly swaying to the soft sound of the music. He tightens his hold around Renjun's shoulders and closed his eyes.

Warm. And he likes it. Jeno hopes this moment never ends.

"I've always wanted to do this with someone," Renjun says, turning his head to nose at the curve of Jeno's neck. It tickles so Jeno lets a small laugh bubble out his chest, "it feels nice."

"Yeah, it does."

* * *

Jeno had fifteen 5" by 7" photos of Huang Renjun in his portfolio now, edited in the most minimal way possible, printed and nicely pasted on his big book. He wasn't nervous. He suddenly doesn't care of grades, as long as he gets to boast how beautiful his  _muse_ was. He was going to show Mr. Lim that and, possibly, his whole department.

The photos were beyond beautiful. Or maybe because it was Renjun. Yesterday, he got the chance to see Renjun dance again and despite his dazed state, he had taken pictures of every move Renjun did. Every step, every raise of an arm, every turn or jump. Everything was just so perfect that he couldn't help himself. Renjun had laughed at him and punched his arm saying something like, "You're ridiculous."

Mr. Lim sat the the teacher's table of the small lecture room by the whiteboard. He had instructed students to come up to him with their portfolio as he called them one by one. So now, he was just waiting for his name to be called.

A little more later and he hears his name.

Jeno stands up, bringing his Renjun-filled portfolio with him. He arrives in front of his teacher, putting down his assignment on his table. Mr. Lim actually smiled up at him with his glasses perched up in his nose, "I'm actually looking forward to yours, Lee."

Jeno breathes in and blows it all out. Donghyuck had actually saw his portfolio last night and he had gasped and exclaimed, "You are so in love, Lee Jeno." So maybe his photographs seem to display his affection for Renjun. Mr. Lim was right, capturing portraits also meant capturing your subject's emotions as well. He hopes that Mr. Lim sees Renjun's emotions through his photographs.

"It's not that great," Jeno starts, "but I hope it's enough for a good start." The older man has started on judging each photo. Everytime his face showed a tinge of reaction Jeno couldn't pinpoint, he can't help but feel a little anxious. Did he fail again? But the photos looked great--perfect, even. Even Donghyuck said so himself.

"These are..." Jeno's teacher starts and he holds his breath for the next words, "these are more than enough for a good start, I must say." Mr. Lim turns to him and Jeno smiles. Thank  _god_ he was so over in stressing about the project.

"You seem so connected to your model, Lee Jeno."

Jeno brightens up at the implied mention of Renjun. His mind swirls for a little bit before he stumbles out a decent reply, "He's...not just a model, sir. He has my center of attention without asking for it. He's my muse."

Later that day, he treated Renjun out for dinner because  _with your face, I just received the greatest compliment of my life from my professor._ Jeno doesn't even try to argue when Renjun says that he has the greatest visuals in their school, because it's true anyway.

* * *

Jeno isn't sure if he looked presentable enough for tonight. It wasn't exactly a formal show, but Donghyuck had told him to wear something with a touch of formality.

The dance department was having their quarterly dance recital tonight and Renjun was one of those excellent students who has a solo dance number. The boy had prepared so much for this, spent the whole weekend inside the studio. He even managed to ignore Jeno's messages and calls just for practice. He worked harder than he did before, and Jeno was not going to miss that.

Mark and Jaemin (who met Renjun, anyway) are coming too, to support their friend on his first participation on the said show since he couldn't last year (freshmen couldn't perform). Donghyuck was in his room just across Jeno's also preparing himself for the night. Their other flatmates are known to have already arrived at the school auditorium.

Jeno has been biting his lips and rehearsing his words in front of the mirror for minutes now. He was getting anxious.  _Everything's gonna turn out fine._ Oh god, Jeno hopes things doesn't mess up.

He's going to fucking do it tonight, finally. After weeks of pining and self pity, he's gonna go risk it all and try to finally ask Renjun out.

"What a coward," Jeno turns to Donghyuck, all dressed up and ready to go. He hadn't noticed the guy had opened his door. What decency, "don't tell me you're backing out again? Jeno Lee I swear to god if you--"

"No!" Jeno answers immediately. He knows he had chickened out a lot of times that week but no, he  _tries_ convincing himself, he's finally gonna do it tonight. If not tonight, then he would not ever. Now or fucking never.

He was wearing a khaki long coat over his white shirt and black ripped jeans with a simple pair of worn out sneakers. Jeno doesn't honestly know how to dress himself up and goes with whatever Donghyuck threw at his face from his own closet. What a life saver, really. He pats his pockets for his phone and wallet. Check.

One last breath and he walks out of their dorm into the school auditorium. He doesn't bring his camera with him.

 

The set up was very nice, he could say. They set the place up with blue and white lights. The wide stage was decorated minimally but enough not to make it look too empty. There were a lot of people in their seats when they had arrived. Thankfully, Mark and Jaemin had kept seats for them both. They were seated not too far away from the stage, but also not too close, together with Chenle and Jisung.

Too bad freshmen dance majors weren't given a part on the show, Jeno thinks, it would have been nice to see Jisung on stage.

It was announced that the show was starting in five minutes, so they had no time to visit Renjun backstage. Jeno was starting to get nervous for Renjun (and maybe a little for himself). He wishes him luck in his mind.

The show did start after five minutes--Jeno had counted, don't judge--two students started MC-ing and eventually, performances were starting.

They were currently witnessing the third performance: urban dance. Jisung went on commenting about the choreography and formations and anything dance related beside him. Jeno just couldn't wait to see Renjun.

"How long until Renjun comes up on stage?" Jeno says in Jisung's ear.

The younger furrows his eyebrows before speaking up, "I remember seeing him sixth on the list."

 _Three more_.

Eventually, the fifth performer exits the stage with warm applauds.

Jeno breathes in deep when the lights flickered off. His hands began to feel clammy. Suddenly, everything went mute and in slow motion. Jeno presses his eyelashes together and the crowd's shushed voices and murmurs returns to Jeno's ears. The white spotlight burned Jeno's sight as it focused a small frame in the center stage. 

Renjun.

He was wearing an all-white costume with lace straps around his small body, some hanging by his wrists and waist. He had his black hair swept to the side with hard gel, or maybe a simple hairspray. He had a smokey makeup on, the dark and shimmering eyeshadow making his eyes look bigger than they originally were. Jeno must have memorized his entire face because he could definitely see that Renjun had worn silver contact lenses. He was glowing just as usual.

Renjun looked so ethereal, like a deity. Beautiful.

Jeno's breath hitches when he locks eyes with the boy. Suddenly it's just them for a moment and Jeno is just so, so in love.

Renjun is in his first position and the soft music plays. He closes his eyes as he made his first step.

Just by that and Jeno is captivated. He's breathless, as if he's the one dancing. He could become deaf at how loud and fast his own heart was beating as if thirsty for blood to pump. Renjun is so, so beautiful and Jeno is fascinated by everything.

The music goes faster and Renjun gracefully dances to it. He's being feather-like and gracious again, just how Jeno remembers him to be. The boy smoothly lands the ground after a turn and slices his arm up and he smiles the slightest and it's a breathtaking smile that swept Jeno off his feet. He glowed with every movement. He dances around the stage precisely with such undefined grace. Jeno could feel his chest hurt because his heart was non-stop pounding.

It finally bursts when the music stops and Renjun bows to exit the stage. Not without smiling at the dazed Jeno.

Jeno blanks out for the rest of the show. he only thought of Renjun. On how cute and fluffy the boy was. On how he moved like one of the air. On how pretty and beautiful he can be at once. On how sweet and precious he is. On how he's going to tell Renjun how he felt for him all these time. 

They were going out to celebrate Renjun's breathtaking performance after the show ends. All six of them went backstage to congratulate Renjun with hugs and sweet words. Then they went out to wait for him to finish up and change. Except for Jeno, though. He stayed behind, blurting out something like helping Renjun out as he prepares. Renjun doesn't say no to that and the other guys doesn't complain so here he is, looking at the most beautiful boy inside the empty room as he starts a little staring game with his own reflection in the mirror.

The silence made it's way to choke Jeno so he blurts out anything that comes to his mind without thinking twice, "Let me help you take off your makeup."

Renjun smiles at him through the mirror briefly before turning to hand Jeno a packet of wet tissues. The latter takes it and pulls one out. He starts with swiping the tissue across the soft skin in Renjun's clear forehead. The boy tilted his head up to let Jeno do his job. He was looking directly at Jeno, without blinking, and Jeno can see that his thoughts were definitely somewhere else. So he asks softly, "What are you thinking?"

Maybe, there's a part of Jeno that wishes Renjun was actually thinking of him. Just like how Jeno always did.

Renjun doesn't reply immediately. When he did, it came softer than how Jeno asked, almost like a whisper, "They put on too much makeup," he starts, "it makes me uncomfortable." Jeno slides the tissue across his left brow, then to the temple just beside it. He brings it down the curve of Renjun's cheek, then to his prominent cheekbone. He figures how perfect this boy was.

"You were incredible out there, Injunnie." Jeno wipes off the makeup on his chin and jaw, before puling another clean sheet of wet tissue to erase his left eye makeup, "Close your eyes."

Renjun does and Jeno's breath hitches. His chest starts to hurt from his pounding heart and he's suddenly blinded by how beautiful Renjun was. The boy's curled eyelashes fluttered against the skin of his cheek in the most beautiful way possible. His gaze drops to Renjun's lips, soft and plump, and he wonders how would it feel against his own.

Jeno gets too caught up with a spell that is Renjun's lips and soon he's dipping his head down, leaning in. The other boy stood still, eyes fluttered shut and Jeno does the same. Just a little more, and he did. Pressing his lips to the corner of Renjun's own.

It lasts for a second before Renjun releases a gasp, backing away two steps from Jeno rather abruptly. Jeno panics as he flies his own eyes open only to meet Renjun's face filled with aghast.

Oh shit, he's ruined everything.

"Renjun-"

"I'll do this by myself," Renjun cuts him off. His face was unreadable and Jeno takes that as a sign that he's really fucked this up. He takes the packet of wet tissues from Jeno's hand, visibly avoiding any contact, "You can go with the others outside."

Of course Jeno wasn't going to slip things. He had already ruined everything, might as well tell Renjun the things bottled up in his chest, "I'm sorry-"

"You can go, Jeno!"

Renjun's voice was booming and sharp cutting right into Jeno's heart. He watches Renjun turn away from him, the sight of his back not really interesting to see. He as well turns to walk out. Maybe he could tell him later. Or maybe he could just move on or whatever.

Jeno officially hates himself even more. He didn't want to lose Renjun, but he also did what made him lose the boy probably forever.

* * *

Turns out he doesn't enjoy their night.

They go out for Korean barbecue and Jeno is supposed to be rejoicing because he's finally getting  _real food_ after weeks of junk and fast food and fake caffeine, but he just can't seem to think properly. He's too distracted to even hold his chopsticks the right way, too occupied with Renjun on his mind. He had tried to interact with him during the past hour, all to no avail. The boy never looked at him, never smiled his way. Renjun was clearly avoiding him. 

He's such a jerk.

_Way to go, Lee Jeno._

He figures that the others have noticed the cold atmosphere between them as well, especially Mark, but they don't comment on it. Jeno is thankful for that. He doesn't really want to feel exposed and he's sure that they know Renjun feels the same.

So their dinner goes on. Everyone except Jeno genuinely laughs at every stupid thing Donghyuck and Jaemin did, and Jisung still pushes his idea of a five-minute yaja time to which everyone disagrees on, holding up a red flag in his face.

They're full as they exit the restaurant. Donghyuck was flailing his arms again and Jeno hears Renjun's laugh mixed with Chenle's. Jeno sighs.

"Talk to him."

Jeno turns to Mark in surprise. Of course, the older would tell him that. Sometimes he envies Mark. He's such a reliable guy.

He nods, of course, realizing that he has to man up and tell Renjun how he feels. Renjun might not feel the same and that will fucking hurt, but Jeno needs to at least let it all out regardless of what Renjun's response would be.

He sees his friends skip along the pavement  of the empty street as he lags a little behind. They're talking and laughing about something Jeno didn't catch, but that's alright because his heart pounds harder when he sees Renjun. He took long strides up to him and held his wrist. Renjun visibly stiffens and doesn't turn to look at Jeno. He stops Renjun from walking silently, so that the other guys wouldn't notice them behind.

It took a few seconds but eventually, Renjun relented.

"At least hear me out," Jeno whispers. It was getting chilly tonight, spring was soon ending and it was almost the beginning of autumn. But nothing seems to be colder than the sight of Renjun not looking at Jeno.

Jeno slides his hand to hold Renjun's soft ones and the latter doesn't take it back. They walked steps slower than their loud friends in front in silence. It was Renjun who had to speak first, breaking the cold tension between them, "I'm sorry for reacting like that."

"No,  _I_ am sorry for doing that-"

"Jeno." The said boy stops to look at Renjun at the mention of his name. Renjun was smiling as he interlaced their fingers together. It was warm enough to fight the chill. Jeno feels warm in the sight of Renjun, "I know. I was just too scared and it's stupid but--I feel the same way."

Jeno feels his soul upwards, as if leaving his body. His chest bursts with warmth and he feels giddy inside. He searches Renjun's brown orbs for any sign of humor, but all he sees is the universe in it. And he gets drowned by the million stars in Renjun's eyes. He's blinded by how bright Renjun was.

"I like you a lot," Jeno whispers, "I might even think it's love."

And Renjun his wrapping his arms around Jeno's neck as he  _finally_ pressed their lips together in a kiss. Jeno chuckles into his mouth and pulls him closer by his waist. Renjun's lips were soft, and pillowy. Jeno's never been this happy.

He sees a million stars behind his eyelids as he closed his eyes. He sees Renjun's bright smile and crescent eyes. All memories come flooding into his head, from the cafe where he'd seen Renjun first until the happenings back at the show. How Renjun danced oh so beautifully. How he laughed. How he sang the most ridiculous Chinese children song. His mind screams the boy's name.

Huang Renjun, and only him. Oh god, how in love can he get.

They both hear shouts and whistles down the road, fully aware that their friends are probably watching them and teasing. But Jeno couldn't care less. 

"Oh my god!"

"Get a room!"

"Fucking finally!"

_Oh yeah, fucking finally._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> so the noren nation is basically thirsty so I HAD THE COURAGE TO FUCKING WRITE SOMETHING
> 
> please tell me what you think ;)


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